untitled
highlight the text below... at your own peril. i guess.
i guess its been really sometime since i seriously considered blogging. problem is, i never want anyone, anywhere near my psyche. frankly, i would make such a perfect story book character; i cry too much for a dude, i'm emotional, i fall in love harder than anyone i know, and i would feel perfectly at ease in beautiful yet somewhat cliched venues such as heavy crystal rains on a hill, or star gazing from a quiet, breezy meadow.
and most of all, i'm a fool; because i dream too much. despite what i show myself as, i'm just a dreamer. nothing practical in my head at all. i'm a fool for love. i'm a fool for romance, and i.... somehow find i end up getting hurt alot.
everytime i'm in love, it always begins as an exciting and yet excruciating experience. the exciting part begins with that whole sense of anticipation, this strange longing and hope. this unstoppable force drives me into doing things i'll never do. thinking things i'll never think and seeing things as i should never see them. but a part of me really fears it all. i'm afraid of rejection, afraid that i looked too far, expected too much, and will end up waiting for nothing. i know for a fact, that when i fall in love, well.. i fall damned hard. i really try not to, but it happens. and now i can't stop it anymore. i find myself gasping for more: your smooth skin; your soft, tender lips and the loose yet snug grasps of your hands. and the thought that i might never ever have that.. really aches through heart quite a whole lot.
i asked and asked myself, what's bothering me so damn badly: i can't sleep properly, i can't eat at all, and i'm unfocussed. i found out, its because for once, for once in a long long time, i really needed and wanted to be honest with myself. because i needed to be brutal to myself. the fact is, even if it never works out, even if you never see it the way i do... i don't want to ever regret, never telling you just how much you meant to me. cause you do... so damn much. more than you'll ever realise, more than i dare to admit.
please don't judge me for this. because i needed to get it all out, or i'll never sleep well again. you can run away, i would never fault you in any way. i'll say this though, if i had a chance, i'll bring you so close to the edge of my heart you'd feel like you're gonna fall off. but you will never; because i'll always be holding on to you, and never ever letting you go.
at the end of the day, i just wanted to be loved. again.
i guess its been really sometime since i seriously considered blogging. problem is, i never want anyone, anywhere near my psyche. frankly, i would make such a perfect story book character; i cry too much for a dude, i'm emotional, i fall in love harder than anyone i know, and i would feel perfectly at ease in beautiful yet somewhat cliched venues such as heavy crystal rains on a hill, or star gazing from a quiet, breezy meadow.
and most of all, i'm a fool; because i dream too much. despite what i show myself as, i'm just a dreamer. nothing practical in my head at all. i'm a fool for love. i'm a fool for romance, and i.... somehow find i end up getting hurt alot.
everytime i'm in love, it always begins as an exciting and yet excruciating experience. the exciting part begins with that whole sense of anticipation, this strange longing and hope. this unstoppable force drives me into doing things i'll never do. thinking things i'll never think and seeing things as i should never see them. but a part of me really fears it all. i'm afraid of rejection, afraid that i looked too far, expected too much, and will end up waiting for nothing. i know for a fact, that when i fall in love, well.. i fall damned hard. i really try not to, but it happens. and now i can't stop it anymore. i find myself gasping for more: your smooth skin; your soft, tender lips and the loose yet snug grasps of your hands. and the thought that i might never ever have that.. really aches through heart quite a whole lot.
i asked and asked myself, what's bothering me so damn badly: i can't sleep properly, i can't eat at all, and i'm unfocussed. i found out, its because for once, for once in a long long time, i really needed and wanted to be honest with myself. because i needed to be brutal to myself. the fact is, even if it never works out, even if you never see it the way i do... i don't want to ever regret, never telling you just how much you meant to me. cause you do... so damn much. more than you'll ever realise, more than i dare to admit.
please don't judge me for this. because i needed to get it all out, or i'll never sleep well again. you can run away, i would never fault you in any way. i'll say this though, if i had a chance, i'll bring you so close to the edge of my heart you'd feel like you're gonna fall off. but you will never; because i'll always be holding on to you, and never ever letting you go.
at the end of the day, i just wanted to be loved. again.
posted by white.roses at 1:52 AM
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