untitled

i didnt find any solace in sleep. an unexplainable uneasiness crept through me and robbed me of any sleep i hoped i could get. images i don't understand and am not familiar with.
the second day of january passed exactly as how i expected it to. slow. i wonder if i had willed it to happen. i was so painfully aware of every minute and every second that was passing. as if my heartbeat and very conscious was one with that clock hanging in the office. watching as the second hand ticked, imagining that the minute hand is moving. i was so conscious of every movement that each second lasted, as if frantically grasping its little and only moment.
the conversations around felt like dim buzzing. insignificant and somewhat frustrating. this is the start of the year, and it reflects to me, just how distant the end of the year is.
i need a miracle.